Back to Wordpress!

I have had a couple of messages / emails concerning followers being unable to reply to my blog, so I have made the decision to move back into my old Wordpress account.  I have updated, copied, and removed quite a bit of stuff, so it's still a little jumbled, but I hope to have it all corrected and fixed soon.

To those that are currently following me - I hope you will continue to follow me over at the current blog.  This was a fresh start, so hopefully it will not inconvenience many people.

Thank you for all the wonderful comments and feedback that I received from each of you!

Melanie's Musings can now be found here.

For those that don't trust / like links, you may find me at

http://crystalflow.wordpress.com/

Melanie

Shine On Award

I have been nominated for the Shine On Award by the very awesome Krista over at Color Coordinated.

The Rules

1. Display the award logo on your blog.  
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award requirements.

7 Things About Me

1.  I am the youngest of 5 kids, so I am spoiled rotten.
2.  I enjoy camping, hiking, and anything else that involves water and outside.
3.  I love gardening.  This year, my garden included tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, zucchini, watermelon, cantaloupe, green beans, potatoes, and spinach.
4.  I have 3 other blogs - a personal one, a gaming one, and the one I moved all my writing stuff over from.  (It was getting a little crowded.)
5.  I collect frogs, dragons, and swords.
6.  I enjoy playing World of Warcraft, Legends of Zelda, and Final Fantasy games.
7.  I consider myself shy, but anyone that knows me swears otherwise.


Nominees (Please forgive me, I will get these up ASAP, but I didn't want Krista to think I was ignoring her message to me, so I wanted to get this posted)

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Musings on Muses

Last head's up before it happens:  I will be returning to college next week (August 12th), so while I will attempt to make one post per week (on the weekend, most likely), there may be weeks that are skipped.  Working full time and going to school full time are not helping my addiction to writing!

With that said..

My muse returned to me today.  I have missed her these last few months, but she flew through the open window and perched herself on my shoulder as I was getting ready to leave for work.  I spent the entire hour drive trying to focus on driving and not parking on the side of the road to write down ideas.   I'm happy for her return.. and the seven pages of notes I wrote out once I got to work are proof of that.

I have read biographies, newspaper articles, interviews, etc - in which an artist (writer, poet, musician, painter) introduced their muse as a real life human being.  Mine is different.  She does not exist outside of my own mind and she was named Arianna after the sister of one of my very first characters.

I'm hoping she plans to stick with me for a bit longer this time, because I need her.  Not only for my own writing and musings, but for the Science Fiction writing class I'm taking.  We have a lot to go through in the coming months..

When The Words Won't Flow

In a post far, far away... I mentioned writer's block.  There are plenty of internet arguments going on as to whether or not writer's block exists.  For the most part, my advice for when you were stuck was to just write complete drivel until you got it out of your system.  Because you can't edit a blank page.  

I'll go ahead and state it: I believe writer's block exists.  And sometimes, you just can't write the complete drivel to get it out.  I have my book of ideas, I have my outline, and I have my story perfectly in my head.  But somehow, somewhere, the neurons that should be firing in my brain just won't communicate what's in my head to my fingertips.  For those that don't believe in writer's block, we'll call this THISISTERRIBLEMAKEITSTOP.  Why do I give it that name?  Because this is terrible, make it stop.

I'm having a fairly bad case of it right now.  I have my outline, the points I want to make in the chapter, the details needed, and how I want it to play out perfectly in my head.  But it refuses to write itself on paper.  So instead of needlessly smashing my head against a brick wall over and over again until all the words fall out, I decided to blog.  

At any one time, I can have a hundred different blog posts going through my head to type out - whether it be for my gaming blog or my writing blog.  But this "writer's block / word block / whatever you wish to call it" seems to be affecting all aspects at this time.  For anyone reading, I will apologize ahead of time, as I had to force myself to write something in order to get the words going, but it seems extremely subpar.  Here's to hoping that my creativity will spark again soon, as I have several people waiting for my next chapter, and they're getting a bit impatient.

On that note, I should also pass along the warning that my bi-weekly (or sometimes tri-weekly) posts may go down to one a week soon.  My last year of college will begin on August 12th and the course load is heavier than normal.  If you see any strange posts concerning Calculus, Anthropology, Geology, or English, my brain was probably deep in study mode.

Crawling Out From Under the Rock: Rejection

I worked so hard and so long at this book, I'm afraid that everyone is going to hate it, and then I'm back where I started.

Sound familiar?  It does to me, because that was me some 4 or 5 years ago.  In the past few years, I've realized something.  (Despite hating this phrase, I have no choice but to use it for this time.)  You only live once.  That's right, Melanie Drake actually said YOLO.  You may mark your calendars because it's doubtful it will happen again.   The point is, there's no time to be afraid.  If your dream is to write, you need to reach out and grab it.  You're not going to get anywhere by being afraid.

 Listen closely here:  Rejection is a good thing.  Now repeat:  Rejection is a good thing.  Before you think I've gone completely nuts, just read for a moment.

• Being rejected means that you have taken that first step towards your dream.
• Being rejected means that you've gotten over that first step and have sent something in to be read. 
• Being rejected means you're one step closer to being published.  
• Being rejected will help you improve.

There are times when you'll get the simple form letter that states "We're sorry, but we're not interested, blah blah blah blah" and then there's times you'll get very helpful critics by the very people you're trying to get published by.  Shrug off that rejection, read through that submission again, see what you can improve on, and try again.

That first initial rejection may sting a little bit, but don't let it discourage you.  You've finally taken that step and it's all smooth sailing from here.

So, Mel, how do you know this?  Because four years ago, I was still trying to get up the nerve to submit a poem to a magazine when a very good friend took it out of my hands.  My poem was submitted AND accepted by the magazine.  At the time, I was nervous, excited, and (I'll admit) a little upset by what my friend had done, so I never signed the release form they had sent me.  My poem was not published, but it was still the thought that counts.  I've sent in a few other submissions to the same magazine, some that sent back a form letter, others that got a professional critic, but none that had received the automatic acceptance.  But thankfully, I had a friend to get me past that first worry over rejection.  Now, if I just had the time to go through all my old poems and polish them.

Free Writing: Sleepless Style

The thing I want the most

I cannot have

How I miss your warm embrace

And your comforting ways.

My dearest friend..

My nightly lover.

Protecting me from the darkness.

Sleep - how I miss you.

Today of all days.

We'll just call this my horrible attempt at poetry.  Today was my early day at work, which meant waking up at 7:30am.  Unfortunately, I woke up at 3:30 and the food from yesterday was demanding to come back up.  Needless to say, I didn't get back to sleep, and the above poem was my sleepy version of writing at 9am while at work.

While I wrote about excuses and calling myself out for not writing in a previous post, I do believe we are occasionally allowed sick days.  If anyone wants to call me out for it, I will happily take it under consideration.  For now, I will fight through the last 40 minutes of work and then go home and sleep.

Pulling from the "Idea Cloud"

You know the scatterbrained, completely unorganized, always late, always in a rush, would forget their head if it wasn't attached to their body type of people?  Hi, I'm one of them.  With two major exceptions.  The first one is my guild vault on the wonderful World of Warcraft.  The second is with my writing.  World of Warcraft is due to the nagging of my guildmates *cough* all annoying, nagging, IRL family members *cough*  The writing is due to the fact that if I don't want to forget something, I need to write it down.

You are full of wonderful ideas.  When you first think of them, they're the best idea you've ever had.  They're so good, you start planning what you're going to buy with all the money you're going to earn when your book becomes a best seller and turns into an award winning movie.  Personally, I'm planning on a three bedroom cottage at the lake with a sun room surrounded by a flower garden.

Unfortunately, these ideas can suddenly become very overwhelming.  Ideas will pop out at you everyday and in the most random of scenarios.  My most recent favorite was while I was driving home from work and passed by a fire hydrant.  It was the first time I had noticed the hydrant in the 9 years I've worked at my job, and suddenly my mind was filled with ideas of ghosts moving objects and a woman obsessed with shoes.  Please don't ask.. that's just the way my brain works.

Sadly, I'm not able to churn out one book after another based on my weird ideas, so I have set up a method to help me.  I purchased a pack of multi-colored index cards and a index card holder.  Each color is related to something in the book.  In my case:

Green:  Characters

Orange: Plot Twist

Yellow:  Setting

White: Plot

Red: Dress Style

You get the picture.  It's also filed by sci-fi, fantasy, historical, etc..  Whenever I get stuck and need something, I'll go to my cards and pull something out.  This ensures that I keep my weird and random ideas for a future use and won't forget them.

That was a lot of words for one little idea, wasn't it?  At heart, I am forever a teller of stories..

Writing: Getting Back Into the Habit

When I was younger, I played the piano.  I calculated the total the other day and realized I spent about 2000 hours total in the span of three years practicing, either at home or at lessons. And this went on every single day.  Looking back, I feel sorry for my parents having to listen to me pound on the piano, especially during my creative phase - when I was determined that I was going to write my own song.  Fast forward a few years, and I barely remember how to play.  I have most of the Christmas songs burned into my brain and I can rack up the perfect scores on Brain Age 2's Piano Player Hard Mode, but if you were to ask me to read music now and immediately start playing, you'd get laughed at.  School, sports, and work cut down my piano time to zilch and I forgot how to play.

The same applies to writing.  I used to write everyday.  It wasn't always on my book, as sometimes it'd be a poem, or a funny story.  After a collection of incidents, I stopped writing altogether.  After the major "incident" was resolved, I started back.  I've written bedtime stories for little kids, legends for elementary school kid's projects, and the random weirdness.  I also kept a heavily updated blog devoted to my favorite game.  It was hard getting into the process, but I finally managed it.

It's been much harder this time.  After I dislocated both my wrists, I was unable to write without pain for about 6 months, and it still hurts from time to time.  I'm currently working full time, going to school, and have an unholy love for video games.  Writing fell to the side for the longest time because  I always had an excuse.  Now it's time to call myself out.

Excuse 1:  I can't write at work.  I used to give myself a pass for this one, because I work on the phones.  I can't talk and write at the same time.  And lunch is used for ... well, lunch.  However - I have two 15 minute breaks that I do nothing with.  That's 30 minutes of writing.

Excuse 2: I have no ideas.  I have a very fat notebook that is with me at all times that is bursting full of ideas. This excuse sucks, Mel!

Excuse 3: I'm too tired!  But not to tired to play Bingo on Facebook or World of Warcraft?  Suck it up!

Excuse 4: I can't think of how to write this.  The best advice I have ever been given was "You can't edit a blank page."  It doesn't matter if what you write is completely nonsensical drivel.  Write it down, because it can be changed later.

Excuse 5: But my wrists hurt!  I'm sure that Terry Goodkind complained when he was writing the Sword of Truth series, too, but you still were impatient and whining that you needed a new book to read. Get to writing!

Now that I've finished calling myself out - I have started writing everyday again.  Sometimes, it's only 200 words or 2 sentences... other times it's 5,000 words because I suddenly became entertained in developing a world.  I do leave one little piece of advice for aspiring writers.  It might not be a lot, or the best thing you can think of - but it helped me.

If you're trying to get back into the habit of writing, tell your friends.  They'll make sure to keep you on the right track.  If you don't get to talk to your friends everyday, join a writing group.  You'll meet people just like you and together you can give each other a boost.

When Your Brain Takes a Turn..

Confession time - I suck at writing romance, but it's something I'm determined to fix.  While the story in my head is mostly science fiction, it's slowly turning into a romance.  My plot didn't include this, but hey, what works, works!  I've never had anything against romance, I've read historical regency romances, erotica, etc.  I don't blush and giggle and flip through the pages quickly to get past the sex scenes.  But I just can't seem to get my head wrapped around a good romance scene.

I'm fairly easy to get along with on the romance side, I don't like dinners I have to dress up for.  My boyfriend knows that I prefer sunflowers over roses and jelly beans over chocolate.  My best date ever involved a bowling alley and going home to watch Star Wars.  And to quote my best friend, "She'll only spare your feelings once if you bug her for a date and she doesn't want to go.  After that, she'll tell you bluntly why she doesn't like you."  So yeah, romance and me are usually on two different pages.

I was trying to work this romance thing into my plot and was browsing through Google to see if I could make something spark in my head.  I come across an article (and I wished I had kept it, but I didn't) that was attempting to help with plots.  One of the points was What if Cinderella discovered Prince Charming had a secret dungeon?  My brain immediately takes a trip South and comes up with "My, they could have a lot of fun!"   Apparently my brain has taken a turn for the warped.

Unfortunately, that still doesn't help writing two characters that want a bit of love instead of a quickie in a dungeon.

Saturday Annoyances and Amusements

Amusements

For lack of any time to do anything else, I've been amusing myself at work.  I will be headed back to school next month for my last semester, and was going through the classes I have already taken, trying to see what I remembered - then I get a phone call.

One portion of my job requires me to take phone calls from various hospitals.  I had a gentlemen by the name of Moses call me from Nazareth hospital.  Last summer, I took a religion class as one of my electives, and was taught all about the different religions of the world.  Anyone who has taken a religion class that covered Christianity, or knows much about Christianity, will know that Jesus is also known as Jesus of Nazareth.  One of the prophets of Christianity is Moses (also, Islam, and many other faiths).  So, Moses calling from Nazareth tickled my funny bone.

The lovely group on Scrib is also having a contest in which we need to write a credible love/sex scene to climax in 400 words.  I've been doodling ideas on a little card, but none of them are really striking me as interesting.  I prefer the action / adventure of sci-fi, but I think I can make this work.

Last, but certainly not least, my garden has provided me with a ton of squash and zucchini this summer.  I was very saddened that I had not seen any watermelons pop up yet.  When I got home yesterday, I went to check out my garden and found a TON of little baby watermelons!  Yes, I'm excited.  The last time I planted watermelon, there was one that came up.  By the time I got back from vacation, it had disappeared.  Found out later that my grandfather had gotten hungry, picked it, and ate it while we were away.  The funniest part about that was he was on vacation with us.  He would just leave the campground and drive around, normally to my house to tend my vegetable garden (I have no idea why).

My tomatoes are starting to finally grow, too.  And there's a few little baby cucumbers on the vine.  Now, if I could just get my green house up and running, I could grow food throughout winter, too.

Annoyances

I have also been on vacation the past week and loved (almost) every minute of it.  Today was my first day back at work since Sunday, so I was not very prepared when one of my first phone calls resulted in a man cursing me out and yelling.  Yep, he got hung up on.

Finding time to write has also become an annoyance.  I was hoping to get something wrote on vacation - I think it ended up being 2 or 3 sentences.  It's definitely time to buckle down and get back into the swing of things.

Why I Write

Shamelessly stealing the idea from Jenne Moua's blog ...

There are actually two answers to the question, the short version and the long version.  I'll give the short version first.

A few years ago, I was in a pretty serious wreck and ended up with three bones dislocated in one wrist and two in the other.  My car was crashed beyond repair and a few more feet and the engine would've been in the front seat with me.   It took me a few days to come out of shock and realize that I was wasting my life doing something I hated instead of what I wanted to do.  I went online that night (and with a little help, since I couldn't type), signed back up for college, signed up for FAFSA, and mailed off a letter requesting my high school to send a transcript.  A month and a half later, I was sitting in a school room.  I also found my old USB drive with all my stories and poems and started polishing them up.  And here I am now..

The long version..

My writing creativity began in 4th grade, back when students were required to answer a writing prompt mid-year AND at the end of the year, to help establish whether they passed or failed.  Instead of writing about the prompt - which I think had something to do about a favorite spot, I wrote a story about a brother and sister going fishing.  The teacher passed me only after she had a conference with my parents about my lack of following directions.

Fast forward to middle school, about 3 or 4 years later.  I pretty much walked around with a whole story playing out in my head about an elite fighting force (my very own Justice League) that saved the world from evil on a daily basis.  They've never actually gone away... they're still there, and their lives have only grown more fascinating.   As much as I'm sure they would love to be written about, more characters have joined them, completely ripped straight out of an anime that I watched while growing up.

On to high school, and a friend introduced me to a "game" that was little more than a graphical chat where people typed in their roleplay, and you just had to imagine.  I adored the game, and my fellow gamers and I went on many adventures.  During this time, I wrote a couple fanfics, for both the anime series The Slayers and for the game.  At 18, I also began working on my very own original, titled Crystal Flow.

Crystal Flow has been torn up, tossed out, deleted, rewritten, and revised over the span of 14 years.  It's never really left me, but along with the great feedback I have received on what was written, I also received a lot of criticism.  I am normally all for criticism, because it's how I learn to do better, but the criticism that came was from a) my then boyfriend that considered it the stupidest thing he'd ever heard and b) a very good friend that informed me that the dialogue was dumb because it wasn't perfect English.

Instead of turning my back on the comments, I turned my back on my book, figuring I'd never be able to write anything that anyone liked.  Years later, my ex that had thought it was stupid, apologized and admitted he hadn't actually read it.  He was jealous I was writing instead of spending time with him.  Someone also snatched a poem I had written and sent it in to a magazine with my information.  The magazine sent me back a response and a bunch of paperwork to fill out, but they wanted to publish my poem!

I was happy, but I still couldn't get back in to the mindset of writing.  My brain was working hard to sabotage my muse, and it succeeded for the most part.  Then I had my wreck, realized that you shouldn't spend your life in misery, and the only way I would be happy was if I was writing.

And there you have it.  Why you should never ask a writer a question.  :)

Jump Off and Other Dead Fish Titles

A little bit more free writing, as I'm at work, and people are droning on and on in my ear.  Definitely wishing my vacation started when I get off work today.  Just one more day to go.

Callie whirled around to glare at the shady arms dealer behind the counter.  "You're telling me that we went through all that trouble and placed ourselves in danger, possibily to the point of going to jail or being killed.  All to get back a useless piece of junk plastic?"

The dealer took quick, short steps backwards until he hit the wall behind him, his eye twitching nervously,"You are being well paid.  If you would like we can call off the whole deal considering you lost the artifact to begin with."

Takis grabbed Callie's arm and pulled her back towards the door, "We'll take the credits, you know where to send it."

The dealer smirked lightly now that Callie and Takis were both steps from the door, "I thought you might.  The credits are being deposited to your account now."

Takis paused at the door, bending over a short bow, "We'll see our way out.  As always, a pleasure to do business with you."

Takis entwined his fingers into Callie's and pulled her along beside him down the long hallway.  Callie trailed along, muttering obscenities below her breath, until they both burst out of the door and into the sunshine.  Thankfully, their small spaceship sat in the same spot they had left it so many hours ago. 

Callie palmed the hatch open and scanned the area.  Rounding on Takis, a low growl emitted from her throat, "Remind me never to do business with a Reciprotar again!"

"Agreed, now let's go home."

Feeling satisfied no one had bothered her ship, she ran one hand lovingly across the panel in front of the pilot's seat.  Reaching one hand up to strap down her safety harness, she flicked on the starter switch with the other.

"Hello, baby, did you miss me?"

Free Writing

One thing I was always taught - if you're stuck, just write whatever comes to mind!  Unfortunately, my brain comprehends that as "Now's the time to go crazy, let's just show people how deranged Mel can really be!"  The results:

The clowns were after me.  Short clowns, tall clowns, fat clowns, skinny clowns, clowns on stilts.  Lots and lots of clowns chasing me down a narrow alley that didn’t seem to end.  Each of them were dressed up in their little clown suits and trying to squirt water at me with that little flower on their lapel.

I glanced behind me to see if they were gaining ground and my heart skipped a beat.  The clowns were still there, but had stopped.  A couple of them at the front were holding the handle of a giant slingshot.  And pulled back into the band had to be the biggest banana peel I have ever seen.  I am talking a King Kong sized banana peel.

They had the band pulled taunt now.  I looked down and realized that my feet had stopped moving.  I took off running again, back down the alley.  I tried sending mental messages for my feet to go faster.   Come on feet, get moving.  My heart was thumping hard in my chest, and I couldn’t breathe.  Icy fingers were creeping up my back at the same time I felt like I had jumped into a fire.

A large shape loomed over me, the shadow on the ground looking exactly as I would imagine an open banana peel would look from underneath.  I urged my feet to move faster as the banana peel started falling.  My ears started buzzing, an annoying bee-like sound.   I swatted at my ear and kept moving, no end of the alley in sight.

I dared to look up and there it was.  The king of all banana peels was hanging in mid-air, taunting me.  I stumbled and fell, my knees hitting the pavement in a bone-jarring thump.  I cursed myself for not keeping my eyes in front of me or on the ground.

The buzzing was still there in my ear, and I swatted at it again.  I couldn’t move, the pain in my knees had knocked the breath out of me.  That blasted banana peel was still there, and the clowns were all laughing at me.

I raised my eyes to the banana peel and it started to descend.  I was kneeling on the pavement still, the only thing going through my head was that this thing was going to eat me.  I was going to become banana peel food!

I was frozen as the banana peel kept falling towards me, I couldn’t force myself to get up.  The clowns were chanting something I couldn’t quite make out, the bee in my ear was more annoying than ever, and the banana peel was almost at me.

The next thing I remember was staring at the underside of my comforter.  I reached over and knocked the alarm clock off the stand, trying to hit the snooze button.  It kept buzzing and I started wishing for a baseball bat.  That would end the buzzing for sure.

The Story of a Name

Melanie Drake exists only in my mind.  For all intents and purposes, though, she is me.  Like most names, this one has a story.

Melanie

My "online handle" has been Melinca for almost 20 years.  My favorite game is Zelda, with the main character being Link.  I adored Link, so for my very first game, I tried to use the name Linka (with the a to make it more feminine).  It was already taken, but I was doodling on a scratchpad and had Me = Linka!  Melinka was born.  I had an issue with that k and ended up turning it into a c, thus becoming Melinca.

Several years down the road, on yet another game, everyone was calling me Miss Mel or Mel, so when it came to a psuedonym, I figured why not start the name with Mel?  I'm already used to being called that.   There are a lot of Melissa's already in my family, and only one Melanie, so Melanie it became.

Drake

Drake is quite a bit easier to explain.  I love fantasy almost as much as science fiction and I collect dragons (and frogs).   A drake is a young dragon.


Melanie Drake's alter ego is a full time student, full time worker.   In her off time, she likes camping, writing, gaming, the water, and gardening.   Sometimes, she even combines them.  She wrote a satirical "gossip" column for an online game for almost two years before work and studying cut into her time.